A Cosmonaut Life
Last Sunday, carlo, dave, bob and i played badminton. They went here after and had fun with the cam and photoshop. It's always a blast having them here, since I have no one to hang out with most of the time, except of course with my lovely lolay. That explains why I am a little bit off at times. If not for my friends, I would be living a cosmonaut life for years. You know, having no one around (my age bracket) to hang around with and being alone most of the time. We had a little drinking session and mildly chit chatted about our relationships as a barkada, reminisced high school life, past relationships, the nostalgia crap. And so came a point (when we were all sober, haha) that we talked about how glad we are being with each other (you know the drill). But really, if not for them, I would be a freakin' cosmonaut living in outer space. So thank you, my ever so dearest friends.














The Weird Shrieks

It's about a week or so since lolay bought the family computer disguised as a play station. Really. It looks like a PS1. It even has the flipping cd opening, but f course, inside is a cartridge port not a cd platform. It is really funny looking. Well, just think how Filipinos come up with ideas like that. Why not just make the old family computer design? The nintedo with beige and red colors. Why do we always come up with baduy ideas and freak hybrid designs trying to be updated with the current contentions of the first world countries? Why not make an image of our own? I don't know if it's the industrial designer talking inside but simply, for an average Filipino consumer, why would I choose imitations over originals? because it is simply us. I, for an opinion, would find it unique that Pinoys would at least state an image, at least in consumer products, that would really distinguish us among other countries, not trying to be an egotistical try-hard modern country wannabe. Unfortunately, a lot of Pinoys don't think so.
Well anyway, the freak family computer playstation wannabe is located in the dining area with the tv (wherelse would it be?). And I would always play with my lolay and join her wrestling match with the controller jumping her hand along with the character in the screen. I enjoy watching her in the afternoons laughing her ass off because of the game. And frequently hear weird shrieks when i'm in my study, quickly goin down to check if she's ok and finding her laughing furiously i guess because of Mario and/or Luigi eventhough she's game over.



It's quite funny to see your grandmother enjoying herself with youthful things. haha It's not second childhood considering she's only 60 something. I would always tease her saying she's experiencing second childhood and she would say "di pa noh! bata pa naman ako kumpara sa mga nandito." and i would always laugh out loud thinking of the "others" living in our neighborhood. And I would always feel how lucky I am to have a Grandma like her. Taught me how to bake, cook, plant, do the laundry, sew, iron, and other great things an award winning housewife would know. Not to mention our balut eating sessions and our mangga picking sessions in our garden. I would always say to her (Madaya ka, ako lagi nanunungkit!" and she will say "E dapat nga umaakyat ka noh!" hahaha!
To show how cool she can be, I was mixing a gin pineapple drink one time, and she said "pahingi nga isang baso para makatulog agad ako." and startled as i am knowing she is not a drinker, never even had a drink at all in her life i think, said "ha?" and said "sabagay parang punch lang naman to" and she reached for the glass and drank it all the way to emptiness, and i couldn't even drink half straight.
I always treat my lolay as a bestfriend but still with great respect for a grandmother. I really love her more than anything in this world. Even with the constant weird shrieks. So lucky.

The Feeling I'm Pretty Sure We All Know

The past few weeks, I have been staying up late sleeping with the sun up already.
Sometimes I just stay on the pc and download wallpapers, pictures, songs, etc. til 5am, sometimes I just lie in my bed awake til I can feel the sunshine on my skin, sometimes like last week, i played lolay's family computer for hours... but you bet, none of these made me stay up that late. There's this something inside me that won't let me fall asleep. As i said, I know i am not Insomniac, because if I wanted to I can go to sleep effortlessly, but that's just it, i don't.
My mind wanders off to something I've never been to. When i play games, or in the net, or lying in my bed, my mind is elsewhere. Sometimes I try to solve the mystery but i just end up feeling frustrated.
Something in me tells me to just let it slide.
I do.
Nevertheless, I still try every now and then.
But something in Pia's blog ignited something inside me.
I never thought of it before.

Eversince I discovered the wonderful feeling of being attracted to another soul, I never stopped feeling. And as the time progressed, I became aware that I am a person half filled with emotions and half emptied with love.
And as the story goes, we fall in and we fall out. I never discovered this part of myself before and as soon as i did, I became aware of all the irony. I am sure this is the feeling we all know.
I became aware that I am born of a water sign. An emotional figure. That explains how fluid I am inspite of the hard rock image i project. Watery emotions written all over me.
Most of the time, I enjoy being alone. In parks strolling all by myself or even in a field of grass reading a book under a tree or enjoying the raindrops in my skin as I face the sky above or watching the moonlight on a building rooftop. I am that type of person.
But as soon as I fell in love, I became dependent of the other. Loosing my old self. And finding, enjoying the new one.
And it happened so quickly. A snap of a branch holding a sack of rice when I thought I was safely wrapped in a haystack.
I soon lost everything including me.
Never ever loose your self.
But it happened and I was faced with a lot of problems.
Which I humbly surpassed.
Now, after a half year passed, I begin to feel my old self going back.
And I recently discovered that along with the moving on, I left the capability of feeling the falling of one's self in love.
That is the missing piece in the puzzle.

The feeling I am sure everybody knows.
And as water takes the form of any container it is in, I simply adjust. And as water finds a crack in the bottom of a wooden pail, I slide out, go with the flow and let myself free. All of these because I am what I am. Moonlight, chocolate, art, God.

Nevertheless, these are just thoughts of an ordinary person.