Hunger Strikes Back

I haven't had any decent meals for more than a day now.
Christmas carols dominate the music scene here at the office.
The air, when I woke up, was the best one in months now. It's chilling but not to the extent that you're teeth clatters.
It's like everywhere you go, people has this warm aura glowing just right above their heads and right in the middle of their chests. People are so jovial. And why shouldn't they be?

I'm starting to get hungry. But the thought of chewing something, slowly gulping cold and refreshing coke defies my egotistical urge to starve to death.

I take that back. I just had my lunch.

But why do I still feel empty?

As I walk back to the office from lunch, I start to drift again to bitterness, which in my defense, is caused by my meal I just had that we used to eat together. But I resisted the urge to shout for help.

I'm slowly going crazy. I know this one. This part when you feel you lost someone but you hadn't really. It's just your vanity when you tell yourself you're being left alone, when in fact you hadn't really been together. But you rebut just as fast and you wonder if it's really just you. Or the both of you. And that's the start of a debate in your head.

And I'm back. Here in the office. In my area. In front of the computer.

And I now know how it feels to be powerless. The moment slowly withers into that situation where you physically will be away from each other. It's so reachable now.

And you know what's the sad part?

I actually think that distance has nothing to do with this.

Will there be anything more than this if you're not actually going?

This is the Coke kicking in. Sugar rush.