Surrealism

I know now the being of a critic.
Or at least an idea of it. I find it easy to get annoyed when I'm in a hostile environment. Or in slang: shit hole. You know, when life kicks you in the butt and tells you "Hey! Shit head! You're doing great with your life, how bout some phocking problems?!". That kind of hostile environment. Well it's not easy to maintain the same reverence if you find yourself surrounded with problems. Yes I know, people do get plenty of these, but still, I'm in the early stages of my adult life, it's normal to whine about this every once in a while.
I have total dependence in my faith, don't get me wrong, being brought up as a Christian and all, but surely, sometimes, as most of the people know, we do have our outlets to let the pressure out. And sometimes it just feels good that others can empathize with you. Or some can make fun of it or whatever.
Sometimes I can't help but wonder how we are placed in life? How do people get to be born rich or poor or gay or with a dreadful congenital decease? Say if you really messed up your past life, if we do have one (or two), do we end up as rats or flies in the next? I'm really concerned with a lot of people I know who whines about how they abhor their haircut or how they haven't seen the Chris Brown and Rihanna concert they might as well just die or how in the world they couldn't continue living without buying the latest cellphone or laptop model or whatever gadget with an apple for an icon releases this season, while more than half of the world either worries how to continue breathing through a hose or which mouth to feed, hers or her son. Most of you might just think "What in the world this guy just ate to tell me how I should live my life?". Well I'm not. And I'm not even telling you to morn for the malnourished and give birth to the next Messiah. I'm just pointing out that there are a lot more bigger problems than you're big problems of the next fashion trend, say AIDS or sexual violence against women. Yes, of course you're right, some people choose to dwell in the pits of poverty, ignoring opportunities to do better in life, these are their faults I reckon. I just wish we can do something productive of our time to give even a little help. We don't need to be rich. I myself am not even close to rich, but I always had this yearning to help, even in little ways as throwing candy wrappers in the bin or telling kids to read more or I don't know, maybe stop giving money to beggars and give food instead. I have no better idea. This is the saddest fact. And if I'll have more, am I enough to change the world?
Change is indeed a hard thing to do if we see it from a future-based perspective, but if we roll our eyes slowly and take a glance of the past, we see that everything has changed easily as the blinking of your eyes. Change is never grand. Change always starts with the smallest tiniest composition as the change of your routinary brushing of teeth closing the tap off instead of living it on or walking the short distance from your drop to your office instead of riding the diesel powered public transportation or taking time to read rather than mercilessly lie on your bed waiting for an IQ to raise one point up.
And when I get anxious of the slow process of change, I get annoyed. I notice the smallest of details and the simplest of wrongs, even in my own doings, graver in my own doings. I easily come up with words to construct or de-construct a lot of people, places and things. I worry for my sake because I keep it most of the time. And I know it's unhealthy. It's even unhealthier for the sake of mankind.
And that's how I know the being of a critic.
I'm just happy I'm not one.
Or maybe I am, in my own little way.