I just got home (Royal) from home (Cubao). I did a quick mail checking from the internet because I'm a little tired from the cousin's party and I'm planning to get up early tomorrow for a meeting, so it's early snoozing for me.
As I browse to my messages, I can't help but think of how time just simply fulfills the pages of destiny. I'm talking about the days gone by. I'm a walking nostalgia. From cramming on homeworks and long quizzes to worrying about paying the bills and out-of-the-country work opportunities. It all seems like it's just yesterday that I felt so sure about everything. I am so definite of what I am and what I wanted to be that it's annoying for some people already. Of course, some of it are simple ideology and most of it, dream-turned-goals. It seems just yesterday that I badly want to go forward and see what's in store for me, more likely get the hell out of where I was, and suddenly, I am here where I just want to press rewind, just to see where things took a turn for better and the worse. And sometimes, a pause would do.
It's simply overwhelming how we lose track of time and space. Overwhelmingly realistic. It's true that everything seems to be just an arm's reach in the real world. And when I say everything, I mean everything both good and bad. It's just a matter of choosing between options. When's it the right choice and when's it wrong, when either of the choices you'll make has a corresponding page that'll begin to unfold as soon as you make that choice, a reason for everything you do? We are what we make of our own polarities.
Undeniably, everybody's anxious to know what's in store for them. I, myself is a self-confessed control freek when it comes to my life plans. Being spontaneous every once in a while is a gift I wish everybody would have. Laying your plans before your eyes looks like a very intelligent gesture for someone who's just concerned with what will become of him, but sometimes, a little faith for what will become of you can be a relief from having to decide for a life only borrowed from Him, not to mention the excitement you get from it. Besides, it's good to remember every now and then that the life you live is not yours but His.
It seems just yesterday when I worry about everything.
It seems just yesterday when all I want to do is what I'm exactly doing right now. It's realistically overwhelming to know I'm here, and yet, I'm still the same old me who rides the bus and enjoys long rides. I am still the person who wouldn't mind going up and down the stairs to fetch mommy's things. I am still the same old person who will leave everything behind for a friend. It's reassuring to know that after the long walk I've been doing, I managed to remain a boy at heart.
I know there're still long roads I will need to walk and lone rivers I will need to observe, but I claim to be a boy forever. No matter what becomes of me, mountains climbed and cities conquered (if there'll be any), I will still be the boy you knew.
Yesterday I left Neverland.
Today I discovered that it never left my heart and I will always be with it wherever my sails'll take me.
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